"Call the Bent Weener"
INT: BENTLEY”S BEDROOM – EVENING
Bentley is sitting in his room, he's staring at his books with his head phones on. He
is tired after school and doesn't hang out with his pals. He closes his eyes to slow his brain and helplessly drifts into a daydream. Again
CUT TO ANIMATION: SCHOOL AUDITORIUM – AFTERNOON - FANTASY
We see Bentley on stage, playing the song, “Call the Bent Weener.”
MUSIC IN: BENT WEENER
There is a wide shot of the audience. The crowd is pounding back the beat to him louder than the band. They are a big hit in the spin of his elusion, Bentley yells into the mic, “We love you, New York” as the sound engineer (front of house) taps the repeat delay and the sound bounces off the walls to echoes of “Call the Bent Weener.” "Good Night New York."
CUT TO: BENTLEY’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS ACTION.
As his mom is tapping him on the shoulder, Bentley slips back into reality. She says, “Son, dinner is ready.” “Okay, Mom, be right there.” His mom has no idea how very troubled he is.
He lays the headphones down.
CUT TO: ANIMATION – CONCERT HALL
The “spy camera” goes into the right speaker of the phones, and follows the wiring into the wall plug, to the phone line on the phone pole outside, all the way across the country to New York, and comes out of a pair of headphones on stage at the 50,000-seat arena as the cartoon character, “Bent Weener.”
He's standing on stage with a guitar. He is aware this is not normal and looks at his hands and feet while only half amused. Then, yelling out loud, his voice cracks as he does a back flip with his guitar.
and runs out the stage door to the alley.
CUT TO ALLEY – CONTINUOUS ACTION
Their he finds a drunk bum, and says "Can you believe this?" The homeless man says, "Sure, it happens to me all the time." Then the cartoon echoes waves like a magic wall of unstable prizms, and Bent Weener fades away. The bum says "Wait for me," stands up and runs down the empty street. Until his pants fall down and he trips.
Uncle Dead Weener is Bentley's Seventh Uncle, Twice Removed, Then married his cousin while accidentally drunk in Las Vegas. He owns a chicken joint (fast food take out) two towns over. Success! The Bent Weener band has their first road gig.
Uncle Dead has a pissed off pet rooster named “Charlie Daniels,” who lives in a glass case, foams at the mouth and hates people (they've eaten half his offspring). Unfortunately, he sits right next to the cash register.
Uncle Dead is a joke-telling, cussing, vulgar old ZZ Top throwback, in the mold of Andrew Dice Clay. But he can sing like a mofo.
The band tells Uncle Dead to come sit in (out of respect, of course).The concert parking lot is packed. There are people everywhere. Earlier at the sound check the engineer assures them he will bleep out any cuss words - no problem.
At the show, the engineer is busy talking to a hot chick (instead of doing his job) when Uncle Dead starts to sing nursery rhymes with his own (mostly disgusting) lyrics. The Engineer isn't bleeping anything out like he said he would. He's missing every single word. Chaos assumes the position.
Nuts, the "Weener Dog" and "band manager" is standing next to the board (front of house) tells Bury (Barry) the Bird on the other side to help. Bury starts pecking on the console to find the “bleep” button. He comes up with pieces of plastic and wires in his beak and misses the bleep button every time.
As the show goes on, the audience starts noticing that there's humor in watching the out-of-control antics of Bury the Bird and Nuts the "Weener Dog". As the both try to figure out how to bleep Uncle Dead in hopeless failure, while destroying the sound board in the process. The audience begins to laugh hysterically.
The band sweats on stage, thinking all is going awry. Little do they know, the audience is having the time of their life. Bury the bird ends up with a beak full of wires. The band sold all of their merchandise. The engineer freaked out about the board. But, hell yeah! that chick! was hot!
At the Forum, the band wants to start. Aneda is hanging with friends in the audience and trying to get to the stage.
All the fans are swarming her.
The band needs her to come start the show.
She has a glass of coke in her hand, and the fans are swarming her more and more. Someone drops an X tab into her drink. It dissolves.
She's trying to get to the stage and people are fawning over her. “Aneda, we love you!”They are hight as the sky.
She keeps heading to the stage. After a few drinks of “coke,” her eyes begin to sparkle and slowly rotate in opposite directions. She glides with a groove on.
She makes it to the stage, and the band starts the song. As she begins to sing, there is a very cool magic in her soulful transformation. She turns into a soul sister (voiced by Lois Mahalia).
The crowd is breathless, and becomes mesmerized with her voice. The band looks at each other in delightful surprise, and smiles, “cool.”
The song finishes. The crowd goes nuts with cheers of love for her, but she's so high by now that she's spinning out, and falls back flat on the floor. The band gathers around her, looking down at her. They don't say “Are you alright?” They say “Wow, can you do that again?” So she gets up totally high and dives into the audience, where open arms and bloodshot eyes carry her like the Queen as they sing the chorus to "Dancin With A Blind Man."
Bent Weener is invited to a party. He shows up at the house, goes to open the door, and it opens on its own.
He sees groups of people hanging together. Not so strange... except nobody has any clothes on.
He rubs his eye, to think, “am I high, or what?”
He goes down the hallway to another room. More naked people! They try to pull him into their orgy. He backs out politely.
He goes into a different room. “There must be a party somewhere in this house...”
He tries a door at the end of the hall. There are more naked people who try to grab him “to play.”
“What the fuck?” he thinks. Suddenly he knows the party is for adult swingers. He's heard about wild sex parties. Now he knows he has to "get busy" or find the way out. He's lost, with all the doors around him. Then, a very naked chick grabs him. She's fat... with a mustache. She laughs, tilts her head back.and Bentley dives into her wide open mouth. He's trying to escape. He sees the doorway out, in the back of her throat.
The next thing he knows, he's running through the door and back outside. He's a little bit bent about it and reaches for his blunt, and quickly goes back to tell his band mates all of the exciting “naked details.”
Meet the Weenerfords (Opening Scene of Pilot)
EXT: CITY STREET – AFTERNOON
We see an ambulance is speeding down a Metroploitan Blvd.
Bentley is inside. He's been hit, while day dreaming on his skate board.
He's knocked out.
CUT TO: A View From Inside the ambulance out the rear window –Continuous Action:
We see a wide shot of Bentley’s cartoon character buddies from his dream running behind the ambulance, very worried.
CUT TO: Metropolitan Hospital- Outside-Continuous Action:
We see the ambulance arrive at the hospital and Bentley being take out of the ambulance on a gurney. He's still unconscious only half in real time. We see a shot of his cartoon bandmates are hiding in the bushes outside by the door, they are whispering quietly about what to do.
CUT TO: HOSPITAL ROOM – SEVEN HOUR LATER:
We see a shot of a wall clock going around and around passing seven hours. Bentley is wheeled into his room returning from a brain scan. He mother and sister are sitting in a chair waiting patiently they crosses to Bentley’s bed. The Brain surgeon enters and tells Bentley's Mom that he saw a very strange pattern on the scan, possibly because Bently has an extremely high IQ (like one in a billion) or he's processing a tragedy and the machine picked it up.
The doctor says “Call him to come home. It's worked before.” And so his Mom starts calling “Bentley, we're calling you... come back from your dream...”
Bentley moans, and starts to come around.
His Sister leans forward to hear what he said. He drifts away, back into his cartoon daydream, where he's playing the song “FULL OF SHIT.”
MUSIC IN: SONG-FULL OF SHIT
He moans again, and starts to see his room, the faces, the clock, the surgeon with a mask on. He's hearing his mom's voice, “Bentley, I'm calling you home... come to my voice...”
As he starts to become aware, we see a shot of the cartoon band outside, hiding in the bushes, they start to disapear, and blow away, like sand in a storm, until they are gone.
The doctor says his vitals are looking pretty normal, and maybe he can go home in about two hours.
Bentley says, “What happened? Why are we here?”
“You got hit by a car while you were skateboarding? Do you remember?”
“That's very fuzzy to me, Mom... maybe I remember some of it, It seemed like it was all a dream...”
Mom says, “Well, you are safe, Enough of this nonsense, okay?”
CUT TO: EXTERIOR HIGH SCHOOL –ONE WEEK LATER:
Bently and his friends are hanging around outside the high school.
He tells his friends that some of them were in the cool dream that he had while he was on his skateboard,before he was plowed into by a taxi driver
who looked like Andrew Dice Clay.
They all laughed, “Who was there, Bentley?”
“Well,all of you were there but with funny namesl'. And, oh yeah, we had a dog called Nuts, and I think there was a bird!”
A school bell rings. School lets out and they all go different directions.
CUT TO: INT. BENTLEY’S BEDROOM – A FEW HOURS LATER:
Bentley’s Mom enters his room and says “We were all scared that night at the hospital...”
“My dream was, real.”
WE SEE A SHOT OF BENTLEY’S MOM WITH A PUZZLED LOOK ON HER FACE
AS WE: FADE OUT:
"The Cruise Gig"
Bentley is standing on a dock, looking up at a cruise ship. Five stories of weekend party money. If there band could just land one Big Gig...
The captain answers the phone and hears that the Band that was booked can't make it. So he yells "find a band fast" to his crew. Bent asks the deck hand how to get his band a gig. The deck hand quickly says "Its your lucky day, you're hired! Get your equiptment and make it snappy." So they do, and a big crowd boards the boat. Bury (Barry) the Bird is very ecstatic. He tells all his friends (the fish, whales, dolphins and the rest of his aquatic homies) about the concert. Finally, they all get to party with Bent Weener! They always hear about Bent Weener but never get to go to the concerts on land, because they're stuck in that stupid ocean.
The ship leaves harbor, and behind it follows a rag-tag crew of whales, dolphins, octopus, seals, walrus, and a few other sea creatures. The party gets rockin. People start dancing, laughing... and of course, getting hammered. Every time someone gets too close too the edge of the ship and starts to fall overboard, the fish are close by to protect them from their demise.
Water canons from whales splash up and tip the tipsy back on board, and the dolphins do pirouettes, gently nudging the party people back onto the deck. The whales shoot water canons over the dance floor from side to side. It creates a slip-and-slide for the dancers, as they ride waves around the captain's quarters and make acquaintances with one another. Some of who have lost their clothing along the way and are becoming “aquainted.” Well it just so happens there are a few dozen stowaway party crashers, "friends of the band" who - how do you say it - aren't quite old enough!
The sunset is exquisite. The band is rockin. The captain catches wind of it and gets the boat turned around fast! He drops the band and their slightly tipsy (or strait up drunk) revelers off at the dock. He says a few choice words that sound like "you'll never work in this town again.“ So a good time was shared by all, as the ship sails off into the sunset and diminishes with the sunlight. You can hear the passengers say "screw that captain." and sing, BENT WEENER, WE'RE BENT ON, BENT WEENER